Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Watermelon on his plate

I don't know what it's like in your part of the world but in mine it's finally hot as in temperature and that means watermelon season.

Actually, it's been watermelon season for a while in my world as I've never allowed mild temperature to keep me from overeating one of my favorite foods.

Watermelon is a gift from God so powerful that it can make a believer out of an atheist.

This watermelon season I've decided to only eat the watermelon I remember as a child - the seeded kind; anything else is genetically-modified and not as mother nature intended watermelon to be.

I've also decided to not let a soft economy prevent me from eating the best there is.  Lately I've been buying organic seeded watermelons at my local food cooperative known for its high prices.

Some people think I'm foolish to pay 69 cents a pound for it to which I reply that I only live once and deserve the finer things at this point in my middle-age man life.  I've got to splurge on something; besides, I can always buy cheap gas for my car to offset the cost of the gold standard watermelons I'm eating.

Put it right up there with bacon and beef jerky as bona-fide middle-age man snack food.

We grew up being told that the cereal Wheaties was the breakfast of champions and I'm here telling you right now that watermelon is the middle-age man fruit of champions.  A daily man-sized serving of it will keep you able to piss over a six-foot fence, one of the five tests that make up my middle-age man health and wellness exam.

Some men grab a beer for heat relief on a hot summer day but this middle-age man would rather have a big slice of watermelon on his plate.


tommy helms said...

Seed spitting contests are so much fun, too

pierini said...

I'll give that contest a try and see if I can spit over a 6-foot fence.