Pierini Fitness for President 2016

Truth, justice and the middle-aged man American

way with Pierini Fitness for President 2016!

Well if two’s a party and three’s a crowd then there’s room for more.  Pierini Fitness, the self-proclaimed ambassador of all middle-aged men around the world, is forming an exploratory committee to determine if he should run for President in 2016.

Yes you heard it right!  Read my lips!  Pierini Fitness is considering adding his middle-aged man name to the growing list of highly-qualified candidates who want to lead this great country – the U.S.A. – as its next great President.

After all, it will have been a rough eight years come the fall of 2016 so it won’t take much to shine like a bright star for the next four years.

I’ll need to develop my position on the issues and be able to articulate them to all Americans from north to south and from east to west in a language they can understand and with laser precision they can appreciate. 

I’ll need to appeal to both the upper-crust “one-percenters” and the bottom-of-the-barrel 48-percenters and walk the public appeal tight-rope ever so carefully so as to not alienate the 51-percenters who occupy the coveted status of being middle-class Americans.

My charm must resonate with men and women young and old, believers and non-believers, Jews, Gentiles and tax collectors. 

In the next couple of months, I’ll present my formal position on such critical national issues as education, the economy and fiscal policies, labor, the environment, gun rights, individual liberties, the right to life, capital punishment, health policy, immigration, our judicial system in a broader context of what is the proper role of the federal government versus state and local governments.  

And how do these roles come into play while preserving individual initiative and personal liberties?  These are questions I must answer.

Stay tuned because the best is yet to come as a major decision is to be made if there should be a Pierini Fitness for President 2016.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum

At a neighborhood park

McKinley Park in Sacramento

This middle-aged man fitness dude has always done better belonging to a gym and doing his workouts there.  

I’ve also done the home thing including backyard, basement and garage varieties and while many of those workouts were stellar in both efforts expended and results achieved, by and large I have historically preferred going to a gym to do my fitness stuff.  

Not a pretty boy gym but a more traditional one with a preference for one a little rough around the edges.

But life changes and so do the places we frequent – for better or worse – and that has been my case in a business decision I recently made to cancel my longstanding gym membership effective the first of this month.

Many friends, good workouts and pleasant memories at my former gym.

Will I gravitate back to the backyard, basement or garage?  Maybe some of the time but with good weather abundant this time of the year, this middle-aged man will focus on kettlebell work, calisthenics, brisk walking and some perimeter runs around a tree-rich neighborhood park.

A kettlebell workout under a shady park tree will be my breath of fresh air.

This summer I'll give my fitness training some newly-needed spark by swinging my kettlebell at a neighborhood park.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum

An old-school barber shop

Some high society middle-aged men frequent the finest barber and male beauty establishments that money can buy and this middle-aged man says “Good for them!” 

These establishments offer beauty-conscious middle-aged men more than an à la carte standard “Joe Blow” haircut with their endless assortment of other pampering and grooming delights.

Shop hard and you'll find a barber shop not too far from home offering ancillary manly activities like shooting pool, watching TV on a high-definition plasma screen or downing a strong adult beverage while you sit, ever so comfortably, in a lush leather chair waiting in tingling anticipation for your upcoming facial massage and manicure.

A high-end barber and male beauty establishment for rich middle-aged men.

These are not your grandfather’s barber shop with a seasoned white-hair and wrinkled master barber experienced in giving you a standard middle-aged man haircut and ancillary services such as trimming your excessive ear and nostril hair.

One old-school Joe Blow middle-aged man haircut please!

This middle-aged man has traveled the world and gotten haircuts from old-school barbers in South Korea, Turkey and Italy in a serious search for the best barber shop matching his personality.  

Pierini Fitness on special assignment in Rome Italy circa April 2007.

Closer to home, I found my perfect match about five years ago with a barber named Ruben.  Ruben is a couple years younger than me but has lived a harder life resulting in his less than stellar health.  My recent calls for an appointment found him AWOL and nowhere to be found.  I hope he’s OK. 

So late last week, in desperate need of a long-overdue haircut and with Ruben still missing in action, I reluctantly conducted a worldwide search leading me to a new barber shop about six blocks from my office. 

Did I decide to take my male grooming and pampering needs to the next level by choosing the finest middle-aged man grooming establishment my hard-earned money could buy?

Was my middle-aged manhood crying for soothing comfort of a fashionable haircut, scalp massage, straight razor shave, 60-minute deep-tissue massage, valet parking, a shoeshine, lunch or a car wash and use of a locker room and lounge with music, drink and high-definition plasma screen television?

Nope!  This middle-aged man decided to stick to one that has stood the test of time – an old-school barber shop.

Worldwide headquarters of Vicente, my new 80-year young barber.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum

The day my father died

In our middle-aged man journey of living and dying, gracefully aging and trying to live a good and honest life comes a significant moment when a parent dies.  

I had this significant moment two years ago this day at 2:26 a.m. when my father's stay on planet earth came to an end. 

He was a child of God, cradle-to-grave Roman Catholic man, World War II Navy veteran, weightlifter who loved the iron barbell but, most importantly, he was my Dad.  

Child of God 1926

Roman Catholic man in training circa 1940

Young sailor on liberty circa 1946

World War II Navy Veteran

Weightlifter who loved the barbell circa 1957

Most importantly, he was my Dad

My feelings about my Dad were previously expressed in a poem I wrote to him the last Easter Sunday we spent together about two months before his death.  It's included in my book but I'm sharing it here today at Pierini Fitness.  

The best way to honor my Dad is how I live the rest of my life and that's what I always strive to do.  

Today I'll visit his grave at the cemetery and in deep prayer and reflective thought remember my last moments with him two years ago today, May 24th, the day my father died.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum

Serious middle-aged men afflictions

Recently, the World Health Organization (WHO) strongly encouraged scientists, national authorities, the media and other stakeholders such as the pharmaceutical industry to follow what it described as “best practices” when giving a name to human diseases.  

Furthermore, to assert its world dominance in the disease name-calling arena, WHO made it clear it would issue its own interim name for a disease and recommend its use so that inappropriate names do not become established.

These new best practices will apply to a new disease that has never been recognized before in humans and where no disease name is yet established in common usage.

Additionally, WHO makes it clear that names should be short and easy to pronounce.  It gives examples such as rabies and malaria.  In cases where a long name has already been given to a disease and subsequently shortened to an acronym, such as ADHS or AIDS for example, the acronym should be evaluated to ensure it complies with the newly-published best practices.

Well who does WHO think it is and doesn’t WHO have anything else better to do?

Recognizing a similar need for best practices for naming newly-discovered middle-aged men behaviors, Pierini Fitness asserts its dominance in naming such behaviors so that inappropriate names and ensuing stigmas do not become established that would only serve to terrorize the self-esteem of middle-aged men. 

Furthermore, new names will be given to existing middle-aged men behaviors to comply with these best practices.

Here are three examples; know that many more will follow.  

Narcissism or 
MILOS Syndrome?

Some middle-aged men are known to have excessive or erotic interest in themselves and/or their physical appearance.  Pierini Fitness hereby decrees that middle-aged men afflicted with this behavior shall not be described as suffering from narcissism or of being a narcissist.  

Telling a middle-aged man he is a narcissist or that he suffers from narcissism is very damaging to his self-esteem.  So this behavior shall now be known as MILOS (Man In Love Of Self) Syndrome.  

Nose picking or
PINT Syndrome?

Other middle-aged men have been known to pick their noses in public.  Pierini Fitness hereby decrees that middle-aged men afflicted with this behavior shall not be described as nose-pickers.  

Catching a middle-aged man picking his nose in public and then calling him a nose-picker is very damaging to his self-esteem.  So this behavior shall now be known as PINT (Picking Itchy Nose Time) Syndrome.

Silent farting in public
or FAME Syndrome?

Finally, it’s well-known that, after a big and delicious meal, middle-aged men like to pass silent gas in the company of others and then smirk a private grin while whistling Dixie with their hands in their pants’ pockets.  Pierini Fitness hereby decrees that middle-aged men afflicted with this behavior shall not be described as farters.  

Telling a middle-aged man that he has farted and then calling him a farter or farthead is very damaging to his self-esteem.  So this behavior shall now be known as FAME (Fuming After Meal Emissions) Syndrome.  

Therefore, a middle-aged man who is in love with himself, picks his nose in public and farts in an elevator shall be identified as suffering from MILOS, PINT and FAME Syndromes. 

Yes syndromes because they cause pain and suffering and, therefore, are serious middle-aged men afflictions.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum

Like my grandfather's closet

This middle-aged man learned early in life about
the value of  good hot bath thanks to his Mom.  

Legend has it that somewhere in our middle-aged man journey of becoming an old man, our personal hygiene starts to go south.  Is it true?  

I don’t know for sure although I’ve met several old men who have given me olfactory evidence that it might be true.

What do others have to say about this?  An internet search led me to a webpage stating:

“Our distinctive scent is caused by bacteria on our skin reacting with sweat and sebum released from our pores and this natural smell changes as we age.  According to one study, middle-aged men had the most intense body odor.”

This ambassador of all middle-aged men around the world is aware of studies like this and had this to say about such an allegation:

"We middle-aged men will always smell nice like a splash of Old Spice."

  Click here to read more

Contributing to declining personal hygiene is the conscious “business decision” one makes that taking a daily bath or shower is no longer necessary.  An aging, more tired and previously-important businessman who no longer has to go out in the business world looking like a pretty boy might find new comfort in skipping his daily encounter with a hot wash rag and bar of soap that not too long ago he would have found unthinkable. 

Another factor to declining personal hygiene might be leaky urine syndrome time - or LUST for short - due to middle-aged and old man prostate problems.  Walking around in piss-stained underwear that might be two days aged along with the same number of days since a bath or shower intensifies and adds to the stink-risk.  I’m told, but don’t know for sure, there are underwear guards that can be worn to manage this risk.

Staying in the same stink-zone is the risk of middle-aged man and old-man butt odor perhaps brought on by an aging digestive system that no longer works like a champ, and further exacerbated by the lack of reaching and bending flexibility and hand-dexterity that makes it more difficult for those squeaky-clean butt wipes that long ago were athletically-possible.

This is all very real and scary to me. 

Who am I to think I won’t be a stinking old-man in due time or that I’m not already a stinking middle-aged man!  These declines, you know, creep up on us ever so slowly.  That stinking old man we know never thought for a moment when he was 60 years young like yours truly, that he would one day be another witness to what younger people universally believe of older people stinking. 

So I’ll continue to scrub my body each day using hot water and soap in my never-ending battle for truth, justice, the American way and middle-aged man personal hygiene. 

During those temptations to skip my daily cleansing, like when I feel extra tired and lazy and harboring thoughts that nobody will know and besides I really don’t smell because I haven’t done anything to create a stink, I’ll be motivated not to be hygienic-slothful out of fear of smelling like my grandfather’s closet.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum

Happy Birthday Mom!

My Mom was born on May 9, 1931 so today is her 84th birthday. Here is a  poem for her:

Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy birthday Mom, it's number 84; wishing you a wonderful day and many, many more.

Life began it seems so very long ago; an amazing life you've lived with hopefully more to go. 

As a youngster working in the fields with brothers and sisters, picking fruit gave your hands many, many blisters.  

Later away you went starting your own life; many jobs you worked before becoming a wife.

Then as a mother of two girls and three boys; you gave them nurturing and birthday toys.

They became adults going their separate way, but memories of them as your little children remain to this day. 

You’ve been blessed with beauty. a kind heart and health, and many other blessings that are your God-given wealth.

So today please enjoy your birthday. food and drink; and know your recent health challenge is really not a big stink.

Happy Birthday Mom, praise God you're alive; we hope to be with you next year for number 85!

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum

For your marriage fitness

40 years down many more to go!

Pierini Fitness posts a rare Sunday reflection today for a special occasion; to recognize and salute the chief executive blogger’s younger cousin and his darling wife as they celebrate their 40^th year of marriage. 

They became husband and wife 40 years ago today and are witnesses of marriage vows taken by a man and women; to live as husband and wife in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, and to love and honor each other for all of the days of their lives.

Thank you Cousin Al and Loretta for your shining example of traditional marriage; it will always be a perpetual and sacred union between a man and woman that will never go out of style.

Your witness is a breath of fresh air in the confusing world we live in today brought on by those who frantically attempt to portray marriage as something else, something less and/or meant to be ended and then done again whenever one “feels” like it.

Pierini Fitness salutes you for your marriage fitness.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum

Enjoy your eternal rest Gangee

Today I fondly remember my dearly departed paternal grandmother who I knew as “Gangee”.  She departed planet earth 40 years ago today en route to her Heavenly Father for eternal rest.

Her special love for me contributed to the self-esteem I have this day that I first became aware of one day when looking at myself in a mirror.  

Thanks to her, this aging middle-aged man – on a good day – still sees a 16-year old kid when looking in a mirror.

May perpetual light shine on her soul and may her soul and the souls of all the faithfully departed through the mercy of God rest in peace Amen.

Enjoy your eternal rest Gangee.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum

Will always remain in my heart

I have very pleasant yesteryear memories of being a young boy and also later as a teenager visiting my grandmother and spending time with her on a Saturday evening watching one of her favorite television programs, The Lawrence Welk Show.  

While younger folks may not have a clue about this classic and very popular weekly television program, most middle-aged people like me definitely remember it and likely with much fondness.

The Lawrence Welk Show was an American television musical variety show hosted by none other than Lawrence Welk.  He was a big band leader who ran a tight ship of delivering wholesome entertainment week after week that may best be described by those who remember him and his show as “wunnerful, wunnerful!”

America loved the Lawrence Welk Show as evidenced by it being on television for 31 years – from 1951 to 1971 live and then in first-run syndication for another dozen years from 1971 to 1982.

The show always ended during its syndication years with the same closing theme – Adios, Au Revoir, Auf Wiedersehen.  I can still see my grandmother sitting in her rocking chair ever so happy and relaxed while listening to this closing song with promises by Lawrence Welk that his show would be back next week.       

Here are the lyrics of this song and a video of it being sung at the end of the show:

Good night, good night until we meet again
Adios, au revoir, auf wiedersehen 'til then
And though it's always sweet sorrow to part
You know you'll always remain in my heart.

Good night, sleep tight and pleasant dreams to you
Here's a wish and a prayer that every dream comes true
And now 'til we meet again
Adios, au revoir, auf wiedersehen
Good Night!

Good night, sleep tight and pleasant dreams to you
Here's a wish and a prayer that every dream comes true
And now 'til we meet again
Adios, au revoir, auf wiedersehen
Good Night!

The lyrics of this song dance in my mind this evening which is my last day of being a quinquagenarian.  Tomorrow I’ll officially be a sexagenarian and, quite frankly, I’m looking forward to it.  I hope I make it and promise to live life to its fullest during this new decade of my life. 

But in a moment of middle-aged man reflection, as my quinquagenarian clock approaches midnight, there’s a certain melancholy resonating in my emotion about leaving the who I’ve been these past ten years in my gracefully aging journey. 

Yet one of the many things I’ve learned about myself these past ten years is how I resist change in a big time way but once change occurs, I’m amazingly resilient and embrace whatever new is now my present.

I hope this will be my experience tomorrow. 

Nonetheless, nostalgia strikes me as I compose my final quinquagenarian reflection, and the lyrics of Adios, Au Revoir, Auf Wiedersehen dance in my mind and heart as I reminisce. 

So as I prepare for bedtime, I’ll privately sing the first verse lyrics of this song to myself as I fondly remember the past ten years of my life.

Good night, good night until we meet again
Adios, au revoir, auf wiedersehen 'til then
And though it's always sweet sorrow to part
You know you'll always remain in my heart.

Yes, the past ten years of the life I’ve lived will always remain in my heart.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum