PIERINI FITNESS

Friday, October 4, 2013

“It’s the least I could do for you Cuz”

This one is too funny and good to be true but apparently it is.

Canadian medical researchers have found a way to put healthy people “poop” into pills that can cure serious gut infections.  Researchers tried these pills on 27 patients suffering from serious stomach infections and they were cured after strong antibiotics failed to help.

Modern-day fecal research has come to rescue these poor souls walking around with serious belly aches.  The good news is this new method is “cleaner” than giving sufferers fecal transplants.  Now before you tell me I’m full of crap, read more about it and then draw your own conclusions.

Apparently, there’s an infection known as Clostridium difficile – often called an abbreviated “C. diff” - hundreds of thousands of Americans get every year.  So serious is this infection that about 14,000 will die from it.  This infection causes bad nausea, cramping and diarrhea.  While expensive antibiotics can kill these bacteria, they also destroy good bacteria in the gut thereby leaving it at risk to future infections.

This new pill method involves a donor stool processed in a lab to take out food and extract bacteria and then clean it.  The resulting “clean poop” is then packed into triple-coated gel capsules so they won’t dissolve until reaching the intestines of the sick person taking them.

Unlike certain pills and vitamin supplements such as fish oil that can cause unpleasant mouth odor, one medical researcher shared these “poop pills” will not give you smelly fart burps because their contents aren’t released until they’re well past your stomach.

So sufferers can breathe a sigh of relief and save their gum for better occasions like before giving their spouses a big kiss.

You should do your own research and drawn your own conclusions on this before running to your neighborhood drugstore the next time you have a big belly ache.

There’s always been this benevolent side to me wanting to make a significant contribution in the lives of other people.  Maybe this new research finding is my call to step up to the toilet plate. 

They say charity begins at home.  I don’t think my wife could stomach my help of this kind if she ever got a belly ache but I could reach out to close relatives suffering from pain in their gut.  Like my favorite cousin known as “Big Al”. 

The next time he gets a big belly ache, maybe I’ll give him some fecal gel capsules personally made by me, hand them to him and tell him to take two and call me in the morning.

If he calls the next morning sharing he now feels better, I’ll respond by saying “It’s the least I could do for you Cuz.”

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum

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