My memories of high school include hanging out with friends and verbally sparring with them or “capping” as we called it. Capping was the friendly exchange of insults in a group setting with the intention of generating loud laughs from others in the group. It was a battlefield most of the time and we survived by developing thick skin and quick mental reflexes to retaliate after being the recipient victim of a very successful “cap”.
I remember one guy named Daryl, perhaps the king of cappers, someone feared because he could drop the cruelest cap on you that would result in unanimous and loud laughter from everyone in the crowd. One of Daryl’s classic caps that I still remember to this day was when he told someone that he saw that person’s mother taking a bubble bath, sitting in a mud puddle farting.
Those years of combat duty along with three years in the military with young soldiers of a similar mindset trained me well and cultivated a “joy”, still to this day, of giving and receiving verbal one-liner put downs. Two that I’ve “used” with much success will generate guaranteed crowd laughter. One is directed to a middle-age man and the other is directed to a middle-age woman. Give them a try whenever you are feeling insecure at a party or group setting and want to show others how “funny” you are.
The middle-age man one is best delivered to a longtime friend who might be a few pounds heavier than yesteryear. It goes like this: “I’ve known him for a very long time. I knew him when he had a 32 inch waist!”
The middle-age woman one is best delivered to a longtime friend who also might be a few pounds heavier than yesteryear. It goes like this: “I’ve known her for a very long time. I knew her when she looked good in a tight jean skirt!”
Have some fun with these and let me know how they work for you. You’ll get some guaranteed laughs but it may come at a price of people no longer seeing you as that kind and sensitive middle-age man.
Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum
I remember one guy named Daryl, perhaps the king of cappers, someone feared because he could drop the cruelest cap on you that would result in unanimous and loud laughter from everyone in the crowd. One of Daryl’s classic caps that I still remember to this day was when he told someone that he saw that person’s mother taking a bubble bath, sitting in a mud puddle farting.
Those years of combat duty along with three years in the military with young soldiers of a similar mindset trained me well and cultivated a “joy”, still to this day, of giving and receiving verbal one-liner put downs. Two that I’ve “used” with much success will generate guaranteed crowd laughter. One is directed to a middle-age man and the other is directed to a middle-age woman. Give them a try whenever you are feeling insecure at a party or group setting and want to show others how “funny” you are.
The middle-age man one is best delivered to a longtime friend who might be a few pounds heavier than yesteryear. It goes like this: “I’ve known him for a very long time. I knew him when he had a 32 inch waist!”
The middle-age woman one is best delivered to a longtime friend who also might be a few pounds heavier than yesteryear. It goes like this: “I’ve known her for a very long time. I knew her when she looked good in a tight jean skirt!”
Have some fun with these and let me know how they work for you. You’ll get some guaranteed laughs but it may come at a price of people no longer seeing you as that kind and sensitive middle-age man.
Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum
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