Friday, June 2, 2017

A middle-aged man national holiday

This middle-aged man thought he had a decent grasp of history to be a legitimate contender on the game show Jeopardy.  However, based on a recent discovery, he now questions his history knowledge prowess.

You see, yesterday I learned that today is National Donut Day.

Adding to my history trivia tank, I’ve learned that National Donut day is celebrated in the United States the first Friday of June.  This event was created by The Salvation Army in 1938 to honor its members who served donuts to soldiers during World War II.

Note how Pierini Fitness has chosen the meathead version “donut” rather than the King’s English version “doughnut.  It’s better aligns with my raw middle-aged man meathead nature.  Along with contractions, it better speaks the dialect spoken by the many simpletons who are part of my vast middle-aged man audience around the world.

Donuts are as middle-aged man as apple pie is American.  It ranks up near the top of the list along with BBQ ribs, hamburgers, hot dogs, beef jerky and tacos.

Now that I’m in the know about today, as ambassador and the number one advocate for all middle-aged men of the world, Pierini Fitness declares that, starting today, National Donut Day is a fully-paid and day off middle-aged man national holiday.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum

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