|
For illustration purposes only. This is not Pierini's real 'stache, thank God! |
I've had a mustache (‘stache) for as long as I can remember
and the thought of not having one is something I can't comprehend. I’m a proud card-carrying member of the
American Mustache Institute, the world’s leading facial hair advocacy
organization and think tank protecting the rights of, and fighting
discrimination against, Mustached Americans by promoting the growth, care and
culture of the lower nose forest.
My calling to wear a ‘stache for life is genetically-inspired
for I'm one from a long-line of Pierini men who lived most of their adult lives with manly hair between the bottom of their noses and the top of
their lips. My 85-year young Dad, to
this day, still carries a “killer ‘stache”.
To shave off my ‘stache would be to dishonor my Pierini
surname so I’d probably have to change my name if I did so. Personally, I can’t
see myself being a Jones or a Smith; I prefer to be a Pierini and that comes at
the duty of wearing a ‘stache as my coat of arms.
I must confess, though, that lately I’ve become tired of
looking at the aging white and gray whiskers that have taken over my ‘stache. To my frustration, I’ve discovered that no
amount of exercise or diet seems to offer my ‘stache any hope of returning to
its youthful self. To make matters
worse, my no juice policy prohibits me from ending my frustration with a
chemical color enhancement so I'm stuck with what I have - unless I change my
policy. Changing my policy is something
that I’m not ready to do.
Might I one day change my current thinking in a moment of
disgust and rage, grab my razor and ferociously end the long life of my
elderly-looking grandpa fuzz ‘stache?
I suppose anything is possible but right now the rage isn’t
strong enough to make me resort to such a felonious act.
Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum