Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Such a felonious act

For illustration purposes only.  This is
not Pierini's real 'stache, thank God!

I've had a mustache (‘stache) for as long as I can remember and the thought of not having one is something I can't comprehend.  I’m a proud card-carrying member of the American Mustache Institute, the world’s leading facial hair advocacy organization and think tank protecting the rights of, and fighting discrimination against, Mustached Americans by promoting the growth, care and culture of the lower nose forest. 

My calling to wear a ‘stache for life is genetically-inspired for I'm one from a long-line of Pierini men who lived most of their adult lives with manly hair between the bottom of their noses and the top of their lips.   My 85-year young Dad, to this day, still carries a “killer ‘stache”. 

To shave off my ‘stache would be to dishonor my Pierini surname so I’d probably have to change my name if I did so.  Personally, I can’t see myself being a Jones or a Smith; I prefer to be a Pierini and that comes at the duty of wearing a ‘stache as my coat of arms.

I must confess, though, that lately I’ve become tired of looking at the aging white and gray whiskers that have taken over my ‘stache.  To my frustration, I’ve discovered that no amount of exercise or diet seems to offer my ‘stache any hope of returning to its youthful self.  To make matters worse, my no juice policy prohibits me from ending my frustration with a chemical color enhancement so I'm stuck with what I have - unless I change my policy.  Changing my policy is something that I’m not ready to do. 

Might I one day change my current thinking in a moment of disgust and rage, grab my razor and ferociously end the long life of my elderly-looking grandpa fuzz ‘stache?  

I suppose anything is possible but right now the rage isn’t strong enough to make me resort to such a felonious act.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum


tommy helms said...

You can always grow it back in a few weeks. Let the little woman experience something thrilling and new by kissing a clean shaven Pierini

Pierini Fitness said...

Tommy, thanks for the recommendation and it is a good one but I don't believe I can do it. I'm more likely to get thrown in jail for disorderly conduct than to shave my 'stache. Maybe in another life.

billfish said...

After having a 'stache for 40 years I finally shaved it off least year due to all the gray which my wife and granddaughter said made me look older than my age.
Since I was looking for a job, I followed their advice and they both were hsppy with the outcome.
I'm getting used to not having it but may grow it back someday.
As Tommy said Pierini, you can always let it grow back if you decide to take the plunge.