Monday, December 23, 2013

The blame game

It may be nothing more than a sliver of what’s overall considered normal healthy behavior so I guess what bothers me, then, is when it’s front and center in my face.

What am I talking about?

I’m glad you asked.I’m talking about another person’s behavior when they're stuck blaming others for their woes.

I call it playing the blame game.

Certainly some misfortunes, perils or unpleasant circumstances we find ourselves in can honestly be attributed to others, but I'm willing to bet most of these “behind-the-8-ball” experiences are from our own doings.  I have no published research studies proving it so it’s just my hunch.

I’m reminded when pointing my finger at someone else there are four other fingers pointing back at me. 

So the way I see it, a blame game dame or blame rude dude who so quickly points a finger at me accusing me of all their woes are not firmly standing on their toes taking responsibility for what they did getting themselves stuck in their woe-me quicksand.

If this sounds a bit harsh I guess it’s expected because having empathy is something I struggle with.  I’m also known to be defensive in my responses to another person’s accusations. 

But life isn’t over; I’m open to learning new things and becoming a more compassionate, empathetic, gentle and kind middle-aged man. 

So to all those who know of my character defects, also know there’s hope and light at the end of your tunnel when looking at me.

I should be able to accept another person blaming me and not be so defensive like a black belt karate person blocking an opponent’s roundhouse kick while positioning for a counter-attack with a powerful reverse punch.

I should be able to do a better job responding with a “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” mindset rather than a lighting-fast dagger-tongue defensive response.

But I don’t and haven’t been able to do this without a struggle.

Honestly, this defensive behavior serves me wrong more than right and get’s me in the doghouse more often than not.

Maybe I’ll get better during the upcoming New Year approaching; maybe it’ll be one of my 2014 New Year resolutions.

If for no other purpose than being a more compassionate, empathetic, gentle and kind middle-aged man, I need to do a better job while on the receiving end of the blame game.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum

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